CHF Again


Eleven months ago I ended up in the ER at Kaiser due to severe dehydration and complications with Congestive Heart Failure (CHF). I spent five days there. Two days later, I went back and it was discovered my heart had gone into atrial fibrillation. 

Last Saturday, my doctor instructed me to again go to the ER because I was short of breath, easily fatigued and had been gaining weight rapidly. They saw more problems with the CHF and gave be strong doses of intravenous medication to make me purge all that fluid. I stayed three nights and came home Tuesday. I have lost 40 pounds in seven days. I can breathe better, my blood pressure is down and I have more energy now. 

I am hopeful that this episode and the weight loss will motivate me to exercise more and continue to lose weight. I would appreciate your prayers for strength and self discipline. Although I am only 56 years old, I feel much older. I’m not afraid to die, but I am petrified at the thought of being a 450 pound invalid who needs to be cared for like a baby. I do not want to put that burden on my sweet wife, Linda. She is so supportive of me and I am blessed to have her as my wife. 

I am fully blessed that God loves me and calls me His son. The older I get, the more aware of His love I become. I am coming to see God more as my Dad than a stern, authoritative force. My relationship with Him has become more personal than formal. I still see Him as an authority who deserves my respect, but I now see Him as a loving, kind and gentle father who feels toward me how I feel toward my own children and grandchildren. 

I need to admit that I was a strict, protective and stern father who wanted the best for our kids. Nothing wrong with that, but I often overplayed my hand and did not temper my sternness with gentleness. But I have learned and grown which has resulted in strong and loving relationships with my daughters. Becoming a better father has made me a better son to my Heavenly Father. Just like I need to be disciplined to lose weight and be more healthy, I need discipline to be a better son and father. I will accomplish this by studying God’s Word, praying more, privately and with my family. Thank You, Father for loving me enough to hold me accountable and for loving me so tenderly at the same time.  

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