After I retired last year I quickly found myself sitting around with nothing to do. I was bored and unmotivated to find stuff to occupy my time. I watched a lot of TV and surfed the web. Well, I thought that was bad, but this past couple of days have been even worse. I am lethargic and practically non-ambulatory. I realize this is not healthy but I don’t really care. Some friends have tried to get me to go out and do something active but I always decline. I’ve missed the past five weeks of church because I don’t want to face people right now. I’m not ready to take on the next wave of sympathy from those I have not seen face to face since Daniel died. I want to be a hermit right now.
I can hear Daniel saying, with that little smirk on his face that indicated he was half kidding me, “Hey, Old Man, why are you letting this get to you so much? Suck it up and move on.” My answer to him would be something like, “Because it’s how I want to be right now and I’ll suck it up when I’m good and ready.” My family has been good about leaving me alone when they see that’s what I want. At other times, we talk about Daniel, recall fond memories of days gone by and support each other as we become sad and cry.
Linda and I have grown even closer together as we have gone through this but I don’t recommend it as a method to strengthen a marriage. On the other hand, I am grateful to God who brings good from something so terrible.
I can hear Daniel saying, with that little smirk on his face that indicated he was half kidding me, “Hey, Old Man, why are you letting this get to you so much? Suck it up and move on.” My answer to him would be something like, “Because it’s how I want to be right now and I’ll suck it up when I’m good and ready.” My family has been good about leaving me alone when they see that’s what I want. At other times, we talk about Daniel, recall fond memories of days gone by and support each other as we become sad and cry.
Linda and I have grown even closer together as we have gone through this but I don’t recommend it as a method to strengthen a marriage. On the other hand, I am grateful to God who brings good from something so terrible.
Comments
I am in awe of you...I have admired you for your heart and the way you care about others....that shows what kind of husband, Dad and a friend you are...God knows you Stan he knows your heart...He knows you are hurting...and need time...God is taking over for you right now ...He is talking to Daniel and they are discussing all of his hurts, hangups, and habits if he had any...so Stan there is nothing wrong with you just wanting peace, and time alone...but dont forget you will get to visit with them both someday face to face...That is Gods promise to you ....You are a great man in my eyes Stan...a kind man and I remember all the times we all spent together ...back in the day...God is Good and Loving he has your back... Chris
He also had accepted Christ at an early age and was always insistent when he chastised me for missing Church. During his rough times - his wife cheated on him and then left him - he always intensified his attendance at Bible study and men's groups to get through the bad spaces.
There are no words for the feeling inside. I was walking through jello daily and my head was inside a fog. At this point, I have no specific recall of events that transpired for four months or more.
Love yourself. Only do what you feel you can do. Allow your friends/family to support you if they will or if they wish.
I believe my son preceeded me to heaven to help prepare things for our family reunification eventually.
You are in my prayers tonight as are the other members of your family.
May your memories of your son include those of how he enriched the world by his presence.
God bles..
I don't know if you remember my brother Jeff Baldwin. I can remember so many years ago when you were called to become a preacher, Jeff and I thought it was such high calling to be called out by God Almighty to witness unto the world, we were at Uncle Herman Hair's house. Unfortunately Uncle Herman passed on February 4TH 2012 and Jeff Baldwin passed on February 5TH 2012 of a heart attack. I was with Jeff when he passed on.
Talking about the things so common and mundane about Jeff since we have lived together for seven years seems to help me more than anything other than the prayers to God Almighty.
Though I rarely talk to anyone when I did talk it helped me.
I remember Kevin and was with him a day before God Almighty called him up...I was a student at Argus High School at the time and the school was serving hamburgers and sodas to the students...and Kevin and another guy.
I cannot remember his name now but they saw the BBQ and pulled up in the parking lot, so I had seen Kevin and went out to his truck and I was bringing them burgers and sodas to Kevin and his friend..to me I thought it was just great to get the burgers to them, it was a lot of intrigue and fun to see if I could do it one more time. "You can do it Baldwin" as Kevin urged me on...Kevin was one of a kind and full of humor.
I didn't know Jeff Faddis that well, but remember your mother and Tina.
Jeff Baldwin and I didn't know how Tina died, we know now. I could not believe your son passed on at such a young age, but he lives on in the spirit. My prayers that the comforter will come to you and your family. If you need anyone to talk to I invite you to speak with me, capitoldill@hotmail.com