My Ramblings

I have a picture in my computer files of my son, Daniel and his then-fiancee, Michelle that they took in Disneyland a couple of years ago. It’s of them wearing yellow-framed 3D glasses from   one of the rides at the park. Its one my favorites of them and it was used in the slide show I made for Daniel’s memorial service in June 2012. Well, today is Michelle’s birthday and she is at Disneyland celebrating. We are Facebook friends and I saw that she posted a photo today of her and her new boyfriend wearing those same yellow framed 3D glasses. It hit me hard, like being punched in the belly and the tears immediately welled up in my eyes and overflowed.   It so happened that, at the moment I ran across this photo, I was listening to an Alan Jackson song titled “Remember When” which, all by itself, can make me cry. It’s a song about a person reminiscing about the life he had with his wife. A beautiful and tender tune. In case you have not heard the song, I’ve included the lyrics here:

On April 26, 2014, Daniel and his family would have celebrated his 30th. birthday. This crossed my mind for unknown reasons a few days ago and I was overcome with sadness. There was just something about that moment that hit me the wrong (right?) way and I began to cry. As I reflected on the upcoming, never-to-be celebrated birthday, I thought about collateral things. These include that by now he would have graduated with his bachelors degree in Criminal Justice, he would be married and would likely be a father. He would be closer to being a police officer, something he craved. I can picture our family throwing him a party, everyone happy and laughing. I have a photo of Daniel above my desk that I look at everyday. His squinty-eyed smile as he looks directly at the camera makes me smile. He was  so much like me, I’ve been told by his closest buddies and they say they see him in me. They give me credit for shaping his sense of humor. I hope I gave him more than just that and I think I d

A couple of nights ago I was lying in bed and was restless, having a hard time drifting off to sleep. I took my iPhone and began to note some of the traits I possess. I didn’t really know why I was writing these things down other than I figured it was something I could write about later and maybe post it here on my blog. So, here are a few of the traits I listed. Granted, it is random but it’s also honest.  Secure and insecure- I’m secure about my faith. I know that Jesus is my savior,  that God loves me and that when I die, I will be with Him in heaven. I’m insecure sometimes about where I fit in and what I need to be doing to be useful to others, especially my family.  Big brother- I like being looked up to. I like to tease. I’m a problem solver and want to help the weaker and younger people who look to me for assistance. Sympathetic- I have a soft spot for those who hurt or are in bad circumstances. Helpful- I want to do the things I am able to do in order to make t