My Ramblings

I had two crying episodes this morning. The first came while talking to Linda about our trip to the cemetery yesterday. I woke up not feeling very chipper but I was not sad, however; talking to Linda just broke me. Through my tears I said, “I want my boy! I want to hug him, go fishing again and just see him!” These moments come upon me like an unseen storm on the horizon until they engulf me. Not being able to have these things does not make me want them anyway. In fact, I want them even more and I chastise myself for all the wasted opportunities I had in his 28 years to be with him. We did not play catch, or go fishing enough. I did not attend as many of his school activities as I should or could have. Working all the time contributed much to this but there were so many times when I was at home, watching TV or playing games on my computer and I flat out ignored his presence. The regrets are so many and so sad. The second emotional jag occurred as I was reading the many Facebook res