Meagan
When I wrote about my sister, Tina, I mentioned in the last paragraph that she gave birth to two children. The youngest is a boy. I will not divulge his name because of his right to privacy. I will say that he is 17 years old now. Tina had him when she was in prison at the California Rehabilitation Center (CRC) in Norco, CA. I recollect that he was two days old when CPS took him to live with his foster family. He has remained with them his entire life. I have only seen him a handful of times but not because I haven’t tried. He actually only lives 20 miles from me but is not interested in having a relationship me. I don’t blame him and I hope we will reconnect someday.
Tina’s oldest child is Meagan Nicole Faddis and she is now 22 years old, and she has quite a backstory. As I have said, Tina was a heroin addict. She believed that, due to her drug abuse, she was sterile and unable to have children. She was five and a half months pregnant with Meagan and using heroin daily when she discovered she was carrying a child. She was given Methadone which she took daily as prescribed. Wikipedia offers this: Methadone (also known as Symoron, Dolophine, Amidone, Methadose, Physeptone, Heptadon and many other names) is a synthetic opioid. It is used medically as an analgesic and a maintenance anti-addictive and reductive preparation for use by patients with opioid dependency. So, when Meagan was born she was addicted to Methadone and spent the first month of her life in an intensive care nursery while they weaned her off the drug.
Tina initially went to prison for several years and the doors to that place were like revolving doors in a department store for her. Meagan was six months old when she first came to live with us when Tina went back on a parole violation. We did not have legal custody of Meagan so when Tina violated (by submitting positive drug tests to her parole agent) and went back, we took Meagan in, but once Tina was released, she would take her back. This occurred a number of times between the ages of six months and five years of age. Meagan went to a foster home for a couple of years when Tina lost custody of her. During that time, she was in a school for children with special needs and was diagnosed as being Severely Emotionally Disturbed (SED).
When she was eight, the Court in Stanislaus County held a custody hearing at which it was discussed what was to be done with Meagan. Tina was again in custody at this time and Meagan was in a new foster home because she had allegedly attacked her foster mother with a bicycle chain and the woman took her to the police station. I went to the hearing; her family law attorney advised me that Meagan was going to be put up for adoption due to Tina’s numerous failures to be reunified with her. Tina’s addiction was stronger than her desire to be a mother. I went to a public phone to call Linda to advise her of this. Linda immediately said we could not let this happen and that we should take Meagan.
I went into the courtroom when the bailiff called the case and watched as my sister was escorted in wearing a jail jumpsuit and shackles. At some point, I stood and asked permission to speak asking that the Court consider granting custody to Linda and me. The judge asked me what our occupations were, I said Linda was a school teacher and I was a probation officer. Custody granted.
Meagan lived with us from then until she was 21. When she was between the ages of eight and eleven, I took her numerous times to see her mother when she was housed at the Northern California Women’s Facility (NCWF) in Stockton, CA. It was a chore but I wanted them to have time together because I had hopes that Tina would straighten out and be able to get Meagan back. We visited on Saturdays for three or four hours. After processing, all the visitors walked to a large day room that contained small round tables with several chairs around them. The room had many windows in order to make it as bright and sunny as possible. I always took $20.00 in dollar bills and quarters for the vending machines. Tina liked the cheeseburgers and Meagan liked the microwave popcorn. We spent the time talking and playing board games or cards. Sometimes, Meagan played with the children of the other inmates. I really don’t know if Meagan enjoyed these visits or not. I believe she had a lot of anger toward her mom who she felt had abandoned her. If so, I share the same animosity with her, but I never spoke badly of Tina to Meagan during that time in her life. She already had enough to deal with.
Two or three times Meagan and I went to NCWF for “family visits” which lasted for two nights and almost three days. We took our own food in an ice chest and paper bags. After we and our possessions were searched, a correctional officer took us to a duplex which sat next to the prison and inside the 15 foot tall fence. The unit had two bedrooms, a living room, kitchen and bathroom. It was as comfortable as they could make it, I suppose, but it still had the look of an institution. From the small lawn outside, I could see my car parked in the lot about 100 yards away; close but not obtainable. My thought was that this was what the prisoners thought when they looked out and could see the free world which lay just beyond that fence.
Even though Linda and I did our best with her, our relationship has been rocky at times. For the most part, we have gotten along but other times, not so much, just like with the other children. Even though we are Meagan’s aunt and uncle we took her into our family and gave her everything we had given our biological children. We also expected from her the same things we expected from the others, no more, no less.
Due to Tina’s lifestyle at the time she became pregnant, no one really knew who Meagan’s father was and Tina did not name a father to put on her birth certificate, so I guess she didn’t know either. One candidate was a guy she had dated for many years, but it was not certain. Last year, that guy contacted me and asked if Meagan would mind taking a paternity test to which she agreed. The DNA test showed that he is her father. I believe this information was good for her to know. She spoke sometimes about wishing to know who her father was and know she does. In fact she has been living with him and his wife for a couple of months now.
In spite of her past problems, Meagan has a lot to offer, by which she has the ability to . She is very smart, pretty and has a great personality. When she comes to visit us, it is usually when Heather and Holly are also visiting with their children. I enjoy watching her interact with the kids, especially the babies. As I was writing this, I suddenly remembered something I use to do to Tina in the grocery store when we were teenagers. When we were well into the store, I would take something off the shelf and tell her in a loud voice in the manner of a child, “Mommy, can I have this? Please, mom, please!” Or, I would say very loudly, “Mom, I have to go poop! Take me to the bathroom!” Tina was so embarrassed and mortified by this. She gritted her teeth and whisper for me to, “Stop it!” This, of course, made me do it all the more and Tina would head straight to the exit. Well, when Meagan was a teenager, I did it to her, too. She appreciated about as much as her mother did.
I’ll close with this last thought. My hope for all my girls, and I include Meagan in this group, is that they will be as close to God as possible, see how precious they are in my eyes and find happiness in life.
Tina’s oldest child is Meagan Nicole Faddis and she is now 22 years old, and she has quite a backstory. As I have said, Tina was a heroin addict. She believed that, due to her drug abuse, she was sterile and unable to have children. She was five and a half months pregnant with Meagan and using heroin daily when she discovered she was carrying a child. She was given Methadone which she took daily as prescribed. Wikipedia offers this: Methadone (also known as Symoron, Dolophine, Amidone, Methadose, Physeptone, Heptadon and many other names) is a synthetic opioid. It is used medically as an analgesic and a maintenance anti-addictive and reductive preparation for use by patients with opioid dependency. So, when Meagan was born she was addicted to Methadone and spent the first month of her life in an intensive care nursery while they weaned her off the drug.
Tina initially went to prison for several years and the doors to that place were like revolving doors in a department store for her. Meagan was six months old when she first came to live with us when Tina went back on a parole violation. We did not have legal custody of Meagan so when Tina violated (by submitting positive drug tests to her parole agent) and went back, we took Meagan in, but once Tina was released, she would take her back. This occurred a number of times between the ages of six months and five years of age. Meagan went to a foster home for a couple of years when Tina lost custody of her. During that time, she was in a school for children with special needs and was diagnosed as being Severely Emotionally Disturbed (SED).
When she was eight, the Court in Stanislaus County held a custody hearing at which it was discussed what was to be done with Meagan. Tina was again in custody at this time and Meagan was in a new foster home because she had allegedly attacked her foster mother with a bicycle chain and the woman took her to the police station. I went to the hearing; her family law attorney advised me that Meagan was going to be put up for adoption due to Tina’s numerous failures to be reunified with her. Tina’s addiction was stronger than her desire to be a mother. I went to a public phone to call Linda to advise her of this. Linda immediately said we could not let this happen and that we should take Meagan.
I went into the courtroom when the bailiff called the case and watched as my sister was escorted in wearing a jail jumpsuit and shackles. At some point, I stood and asked permission to speak asking that the Court consider granting custody to Linda and me. The judge asked me what our occupations were, I said Linda was a school teacher and I was a probation officer. Custody granted.
Meagan lived with us from then until she was 21. When she was between the ages of eight and eleven, I took her numerous times to see her mother when she was housed at the Northern California Women’s Facility (NCWF) in Stockton, CA. It was a chore but I wanted them to have time together because I had hopes that Tina would straighten out and be able to get Meagan back. We visited on Saturdays for three or four hours. After processing, all the visitors walked to a large day room that contained small round tables with several chairs around them. The room had many windows in order to make it as bright and sunny as possible. I always took $20.00 in dollar bills and quarters for the vending machines. Tina liked the cheeseburgers and Meagan liked the microwave popcorn. We spent the time talking and playing board games or cards. Sometimes, Meagan played with the children of the other inmates. I really don’t know if Meagan enjoyed these visits or not. I believe she had a lot of anger toward her mom who she felt had abandoned her. If so, I share the same animosity with her, but I never spoke badly of Tina to Meagan during that time in her life. She already had enough to deal with.
Two or three times Meagan and I went to NCWF for “family visits” which lasted for two nights and almost three days. We took our own food in an ice chest and paper bags. After we and our possessions were searched, a correctional officer took us to a duplex which sat next to the prison and inside the 15 foot tall fence. The unit had two bedrooms, a living room, kitchen and bathroom. It was as comfortable as they could make it, I suppose, but it still had the look of an institution. From the small lawn outside, I could see my car parked in the lot about 100 yards away; close but not obtainable. My thought was that this was what the prisoners thought when they looked out and could see the free world which lay just beyond that fence.
Even though Linda and I did our best with her, our relationship has been rocky at times. For the most part, we have gotten along but other times, not so much, just like with the other children. Even though we are Meagan’s aunt and uncle we took her into our family and gave her everything we had given our biological children. We also expected from her the same things we expected from the others, no more, no less.
Due to Tina’s lifestyle at the time she became pregnant, no one really knew who Meagan’s father was and Tina did not name a father to put on her birth certificate, so I guess she didn’t know either. One candidate was a guy she had dated for many years, but it was not certain. Last year, that guy contacted me and asked if Meagan would mind taking a paternity test to which she agreed. The DNA test showed that he is her father. I believe this information was good for her to know. She spoke sometimes about wishing to know who her father was and know she does. In fact she has been living with him and his wife for a couple of months now.
In spite of her past problems, Meagan has a lot to offer, by which she has the ability to . She is very smart, pretty and has a great personality. When she comes to visit us, it is usually when Heather and Holly are also visiting with their children. I enjoy watching her interact with the kids, especially the babies. As I was writing this, I suddenly remembered something I use to do to Tina in the grocery store when we were teenagers. When we were well into the store, I would take something off the shelf and tell her in a loud voice in the manner of a child, “Mommy, can I have this? Please, mom, please!” Or, I would say very loudly, “Mom, I have to go poop! Take me to the bathroom!” Tina was so embarrassed and mortified by this. She gritted her teeth and whisper for me to, “Stop it!” This, of course, made me do it all the more and Tina would head straight to the exit. Well, when Meagan was a teenager, I did it to her, too. She appreciated about as much as her mother did.
I’ll close with this last thought. My hope for all my girls, and I include Meagan in this group, is that they will be as close to God as possible, see how precious they are in my eyes and find happiness in life.
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