Cooper and Sledge

It began again last week; missing my son very deeply. I was listening to a song on my iPhone; “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” by the Hollies.” Now, the song does not particularly make me think of Daniel, at least not before that day. In fact, the song reminds me of high school because the phrase, “he ain’t heavy, he’s my brother” was used in my Senior yearbook and I almost always think of that when I hear the song. However, it hit me in a different way last week. I had to sit down on my bed and cry as I listened to it. Other music also causes me to think of him including the Black Keys and Mumford and Sons because Daniel was the first one to tell me about these two groups. He was repaying the favor because when he was a kid I introduced him and all three of the girls to the music of Roy Orbison, The Traveling Wilburys and Percy Sledge. All our kids loved Percy’s “When a Man Loves a Woman” even though they didn’t get the lyrics right. Somehow, the phrase, “trying to hold on to your high class love, baby, please don’t treat me bad” was reinterpreted by our kids to, “trying to hold on to your hot dog stand, baby, please pass the ketchup.” This is often joked about by our family and rightly so. Silly kids.


Sometimes, I get sad and angry when I think of Daniel being gone. The smallest things can bring on these feelings. For instance, Linda and I were talking about the houseboat trip our family will be taking in June on Lake Shasta. We have done this for more than 20 summers and we all look forward to it yearly. It was the plan this year to hand over the reins of the boat to Daniel, meaning he would make the decisions on where on Lake Shasta to go and where to tie up for the night, etc. I was going to by him one of those captain hats like the Skipper on Gilligan's Island wore. Now, that won’t happen and it makes me mad.

Another one of these things is that the new season of the TV series, Southland started a couple of nights ago. It was our favorite show at the time of his death. We loved talking about how realistic it portrayed L.A. cops and all the crimes they have to deal with. Both of us really liked the character, John Cooper, played by Michael Cudlitz. Daniel wanted so badly to be a police officer and I believe he pictured himself as being like Cooper. We liked how tough this character is and what a solid cop he seems to be. Now, I am watching the show alone and have no one (don’t want no one) with whom to critique the latest episode. I cried about that too and am tearing up again as I write this. I wish Daniel had not done this to me and everyone else who loved him.

I wonder when I will, if ever, stop letting these things make me sad. I guess I should look for the silver lining in this cloud- the smile that comes whenever I hear “When a Man Loves a Woman.”



Officer John Cooper




Percy Sledge