I am feeling somewhat melancholy this evening and am treating it with some good and loud Dire Straits. Some of their live versions on Sultans of Swing and Money for Nothing are so great and listening to them put me there and out of my darkening mood. Here in Turlock, it’s dark, cold and rainy and the weather was pulling me into its vortex of grayness. Then, I listened to a ten minute version of Sultans with Mark Knopfler and crew which they performed in Sydney, Australia in 1986. Knopfler’s guitar work would be plenty but in this rendition they employed a guy to play saxophone which just brought it up a couple of notches. Hearing the audience clap, whistle and scream placed me there in the center of all that energy. I love listening to music. I listen and sing along but the only thing I can play is the radio.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my girls, grandkids, and beautiful wife who all love and appreciate me. Thinking about them is really helping me to work through the pain of Daniel’s death. They give me so much to live for. I sometimes cannot fathom how blessed I am. I have stated the following to a few of my closest friends in the past but I will now share it with all who are reading this blog:
When I was in my late teens I strongly believed that I would never be married and father children. I concluded this because I was fat, pimply and felt that I had no redeeming qualities. I thought there was no one who would love me. In short, I had a very low opinion of myself. I was also very lazy and recall thinking numerous times that even if I did have a wife and children, there was no way I would get out of bed and go to work daily to support them. It was much easier to just be a drunk and a sluggard. In my freshman year at Ceres High School, I got straight F’s because I did not attend classes. I was eventually kicked out and had to get a GED. (For those of you who did not know me back then, the truth is, I was a lover of beer and would sometimes drink two to three cases a week.) In addition, when I was 18 I was formulating a plan with my buddy, Dave, to be the biggest marijuana dealers in our little town. This was as high as I had ever set my sights.
Even though I had accepted Christ as my Savior when I was 13, I was not honoring Him and failing to live up to my potential as a result. One Friday night when I was 19, my friend, Craig and I went to our former high school to watch a football game. We were drunk on Jose Cuervo Gold. I ran into my friend, Ron who I had known since we were 10. He was living in San Jose and attending San Jose Bible College. We talked for a while and then went our separate ways.
The next day, I began to think about how my life was going nowhere and I did not like that feeling. Although I did not know it at the time, my life was summed up by this verse from Galatians 5:19-21. 19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, 21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
I concluded that I must change my lifestyle or I was headed for lots of problems and unhappiness. The only way I could do that at the time was to run from my hometown to get away from the people I hung out with and who were such a bad influence on this weak individual. I ended up in San Jose, living with Ron and his roommates who also went to SJBC. Because I only had my GED, I did not think I could go to college, but I was wrong and the school took me in as a student.
After a while I decided I wanted to be a youth pastor because I liked working with kids so I earned a degree in Bible and Theology with a minor in Youth Ministry . Upon graduation, I couldn’t find a church that was hiring so I went to work part time in Juvenile Hall with the intention of leaving for the ministry within a year or two. 26 years later, I finally did leave the Probation Department when I retired. God had put me where he wanted me to be. At SJBC I met Linda to whom I have been married for 32 years and I fathered three kids. I did get up every day (well, maybe not every day) to go to work and I supported my family all these years. I give God ALL the credit for making me who I am today and I will serve Him until I die.
I want others to be followers of Christ so that we all can have what Galatians 5:22-24 states: 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
P.S. Is it just me or did this blog entry go somewhere way different than how it started out? That has been my life story. If you have comments or questions please contact me at stanfaddis@gmail.com or on my Facebook page.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my girls, grandkids, and beautiful wife who all love and appreciate me. Thinking about them is really helping me to work through the pain of Daniel’s death. They give me so much to live for. I sometimes cannot fathom how blessed I am. I have stated the following to a few of my closest friends in the past but I will now share it with all who are reading this blog:
When I was in my late teens I strongly believed that I would never be married and father children. I concluded this because I was fat, pimply and felt that I had no redeeming qualities. I thought there was no one who would love me. In short, I had a very low opinion of myself. I was also very lazy and recall thinking numerous times that even if I did have a wife and children, there was no way I would get out of bed and go to work daily to support them. It was much easier to just be a drunk and a sluggard. In my freshman year at Ceres High School, I got straight F’s because I did not attend classes. I was eventually kicked out and had to get a GED. (For those of you who did not know me back then, the truth is, I was a lover of beer and would sometimes drink two to three cases a week.) In addition, when I was 18 I was formulating a plan with my buddy, Dave, to be the biggest marijuana dealers in our little town. This was as high as I had ever set my sights.
Even though I had accepted Christ as my Savior when I was 13, I was not honoring Him and failing to live up to my potential as a result. One Friday night when I was 19, my friend, Craig and I went to our former high school to watch a football game. We were drunk on Jose Cuervo Gold. I ran into my friend, Ron who I had known since we were 10. He was living in San Jose and attending San Jose Bible College. We talked for a while and then went our separate ways.
The next day, I began to think about how my life was going nowhere and I did not like that feeling. Although I did not know it at the time, my life was summed up by this verse from Galatians 5:19-21. 19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, 21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
I concluded that I must change my lifestyle or I was headed for lots of problems and unhappiness. The only way I could do that at the time was to run from my hometown to get away from the people I hung out with and who were such a bad influence on this weak individual. I ended up in San Jose, living with Ron and his roommates who also went to SJBC. Because I only had my GED, I did not think I could go to college, but I was wrong and the school took me in as a student.
After a while I decided I wanted to be a youth pastor because I liked working with kids so I earned a degree in Bible and Theology with a minor in Youth Ministry . Upon graduation, I couldn’t find a church that was hiring so I went to work part time in Juvenile Hall with the intention of leaving for the ministry within a year or two. 26 years later, I finally did leave the Probation Department when I retired. God had put me where he wanted me to be. At SJBC I met Linda to whom I have been married for 32 years and I fathered three kids. I did get up every day (well, maybe not every day) to go to work and I supported my family all these years. I give God ALL the credit for making me who I am today and I will serve Him until I die.
I want others to be followers of Christ so that we all can have what Galatians 5:22-24 states: 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
P.S. Is it just me or did this blog entry go somewhere way different than how it started out? That has been my life story. If you have comments or questions please contact me at stanfaddis@gmail.com or on my Facebook page.
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