A Sample Court Report

This afternoon, Linda and I drove to the San Joaquin Memorial Cemetery in Santa Nella to see where we will bury Daniel’s cremains next week. The sprawling cemetery is for veterans and their spouses. Neither of us has ever been there before and Linda was surprised to see that there are no standing markers. She expected to see hundreds of white crosses marking the graves as depicted in the movie, “Saving Private Ryan.” The markers at SJV are all flat rectangles made of a cement type material. The nearby brown hills along I-5 are a stark contrast to the beautiful, thick green sod of the burial grounds. It is remote and peaceful. Daniel will be happy we are putting him in a place surrounded by other vets with similar ideals to his own. I counted approximately a dozen groundskeepers maintaining the area and preparing to lay fresh sod around the new graves. Judging by the size of the place and the number of workers, this is a busy place.


Daniel’s memorial service back in June was a beautiful and special time of remembrance attended by some 400 people. Here, it will be very short. Linda will read a heartbreaking yet healing piece she wrote titled, “Whispering Hope.” I will say a couple of words and lead a prayer. The “service” will be attended by only the family, his fiancée, her family and several of their closest friends. Due to the cemeteries strict rules, there are no graveside services. We will be assigned a “shelter” where we will conduct our final ritual. His cremains will have already been given to the personnel along with the proper paperwork as well as what we want to have included on his marker. He will be buried sometime later that day and his marker will be placed 30 to 60 days later. The marker will include his name, birth/death dates, his military service and the following inscription: "Beloved son, brother, uncle, fiance and friend."

As we went on our “mission” today, we both felt a renewed sense of loss. Linda commented that next Friday will be very difficult for her. We both agreed that we will feel relief that the next “chapter” in this sad, sad event will come to a close.

I have buried many of my family including my parents, grandparents, and three siblings. However, today’s task was so surreal for me. As we drove through the cemetery entrance it hit me like a ton of bricks that this is the place my only son will rest and how unfair it is me, his father, has to bury him and not the reverse. I do not understand the ways of the world, why things happen and other such mysteries. But, I rest assured knowing that God, the creator of the universe, the giver and taker of life is in full control and that someday I will understand. Rest in peace my beloved son.