There are two birthdays today (August 3) in my family. Today, my beautiful, smart, compassionate daughter, Heather is 27. She is the mother of two boys and a daughter. Her fourth baby will be born in October. I am so proud of her! Among other things, she is a great mommy; an accomplished baker and a doula (look it up). Our relationship is strong and loving; however, it was not always that way. Like her Dad, Heather is strong-willed and so we butted heads a lot during her teen years. I am so proud of the woman she has grown to be. The other family birthday today would have been my sister Tina’s 52nd. Unfortunately, she passed away in June 2005.
The word that comes to mind regarding Heather and Tina (who were born 25 years to the day apart) is “choices.” While Heath was somewhat rebellious and resistant to our guidance at times, she righted herself and has blossomed into a woman that any parent would be proud of. Tina did not choose the same path for herself. She got into drugs, fell in with unsavory people and spent many years in prison. At age 46, while driving under the influence of methamphetamine, she went head-on with another car, killing herself as well as the driver of the other vehicle.
Some people might say the difference between Tina and Heather is their upbringing. I cannot agree with this because I came from the same family as Tina. Our Mom worked hard to give us everything we needed and most of what we wanted. Mom loved us; we always had a roof over our heads and food in the refrigerator, she was not absent, she nurtured us and taught us good morals. The bottom line is that we are all free to make our own choices. All of us know families (or are part of one) in which the siblings are so different. Throughout history and in literature we see these same contrasts in behavior between siblings – the Bible’s Cain and Abel, Joseph and his brothers, Caleb and Aron Trask in Steinbeck’s East of Eden. Having the freedom to make our own decisions is a great and empowering gift but it also comes with lots of responsibility. As a father, I am glad to see that Heather has made good choices. She makes beautiful grandbabies for me, too! Happy Birthday, Mouse.
The word that comes to mind regarding Heather and Tina (who were born 25 years to the day apart) is “choices.” While Heath was somewhat rebellious and resistant to our guidance at times, she righted herself and has blossomed into a woman that any parent would be proud of. Tina did not choose the same path for herself. She got into drugs, fell in with unsavory people and spent many years in prison. At age 46, while driving under the influence of methamphetamine, she went head-on with another car, killing herself as well as the driver of the other vehicle.
Some people might say the difference between Tina and Heather is their upbringing. I cannot agree with this because I came from the same family as Tina. Our Mom worked hard to give us everything we needed and most of what we wanted. Mom loved us; we always had a roof over our heads and food in the refrigerator, she was not absent, she nurtured us and taught us good morals. The bottom line is that we are all free to make our own choices. All of us know families (or are part of one) in which the siblings are so different. Throughout history and in literature we see these same contrasts in behavior between siblings – the Bible’s Cain and Abel, Joseph and his brothers, Caleb and Aron Trask in Steinbeck’s East of Eden. Having the freedom to make our own decisions is a great and empowering gift but it also comes with lots of responsibility. As a father, I am glad to see that Heather has made good choices. She makes beautiful grandbabies for me, too! Happy Birthday, Mouse.
Comments