The Empty Nesters
We are beginning to get ready for Christmas, but this year is so different than in the past. Yes, some of this has to do with us knowing Daniel will not be here to celebrate it with us, but it’s not the only thing. I have, up until now, neglected to report here that Linda and I are now “empty nesters.” Judah and his parents moved back to the Bay Area on November 17. My attempts to keep Judah here with us when Holly and Bryan moved were unsuccessful. Funny how a mom requires the presence of her child without any regard to how this makes the sad and lonely grandparents feel. Judah has lived in our home since his second day on earth. We got accustomed to seeing him daily.
We have been told by friends what a great thing an empty nest is and how we are going to love it and blah, blah, blah. Yes, it is quieter and I can walk around the house in my underwear if I want to (don’t picture that in your mind), but so far, these “benefits” are not what they’re cracked up to be. Putting up the Christmas tree and decorating the house is not the same without the kids participating in it.
Linda and I waited several years after getting married to have children, so for more than 28 years we have had kids living with us. We have also opened our home at various times to friends of ours and those of our children who needed a place to live. As a result, we are accustomed to having people around us, in our home, all the time.
I was talking to someone last week about the empty nest. I joked that Linda and I were going to hit the streets to find someone to take in. In fact, we know what that’s like. Earlier this year I dropped off Linda and Meagan at the movie theaters here in Turlock and headed for home. As I drove out of the parking lot, I saw a homeless man holding a sign asking for money to get a motel room. I stopped to interrogate him, asking the usual “probation officer type” questions, “Why are you homeless? Where do you stay when you don’t have money for a motel? Are you on drugs?”
He appeared to be very clean. He was articulate, didn’t seem to be high and did not reek of alcohol. He said his name was Gene and he had fallen on hard times, and was doing the best he could do. He admitted to “drinking a little.” Gene had a small tent and a sleeping bag which he slept in when he had to. He said he spent about 8 hours a day panhandling which usually netted him enough to stay in a nearby Motel 6. He often ate pizza he bought from a Chevron station across the street from the motel. I gave him $5.00 and went on my way.
I got about a half mile away when I got an unorthodox idea. I pulled over and called Linda to ask her what she thought about us offering a bed for the night to a homeless guy. I explained my recent encounter to which she hesitantly stated it was up to me. I then called Daniel to get his counsel on the situation. As expected, he told me what a crazy thing it was to even think it. He pointed out that it was risky to bring a stranger into my home] that I did not know how dangerous the guy may be and I was risking a lot. He said something like, “Dad, how many times have I told you not to make yourself a soft target?” ( For those who do not understand NRA or cop talk, email me to learn what a soft target is.) I thanked him for his input and drove back to invite the man into my domicile. He reluctantly accepted my invitation. I presume he wondered if he was making himself a soft target.
We went to my house where I fed him. He took a shower and washed a load of clothes. Later, he went with me to pick up Linda and Meagan at the theatre. We spent the evening talking and watching TV. It was a pleasant experience and made me feel good about helping out someone who had so little compared to me.
Anyway, I am not so lonely and bored that I’m ready and willing to take in strangers, but thus far, the empty nest is not so great. I wonder what my grandkids are doing this weekend.
We have been told by friends what a great thing an empty nest is and how we are going to love it and blah, blah, blah. Yes, it is quieter and I can walk around the house in my underwear if I want to (don’t picture that in your mind), but so far, these “benefits” are not what they’re cracked up to be. Putting up the Christmas tree and decorating the house is not the same without the kids participating in it.
Linda and I waited several years after getting married to have children, so for more than 28 years we have had kids living with us. We have also opened our home at various times to friends of ours and those of our children who needed a place to live. As a result, we are accustomed to having people around us, in our home, all the time.
I was talking to someone last week about the empty nest. I joked that Linda and I were going to hit the streets to find someone to take in. In fact, we know what that’s like. Earlier this year I dropped off Linda and Meagan at the movie theaters here in Turlock and headed for home. As I drove out of the parking lot, I saw a homeless man holding a sign asking for money to get a motel room. I stopped to interrogate him, asking the usual “probation officer type” questions, “Why are you homeless? Where do you stay when you don’t have money for a motel? Are you on drugs?”
He appeared to be very clean. He was articulate, didn’t seem to be high and did not reek of alcohol. He said his name was Gene and he had fallen on hard times, and was doing the best he could do. He admitted to “drinking a little.” Gene had a small tent and a sleeping bag which he slept in when he had to. He said he spent about 8 hours a day panhandling which usually netted him enough to stay in a nearby Motel 6. He often ate pizza he bought from a Chevron station across the street from the motel. I gave him $5.00 and went on my way.
I got about a half mile away when I got an unorthodox idea. I pulled over and called Linda to ask her what she thought about us offering a bed for the night to a homeless guy. I explained my recent encounter to which she hesitantly stated it was up to me. I then called Daniel to get his counsel on the situation. As expected, he told me what a crazy thing it was to even think it. He pointed out that it was risky to bring a stranger into my home] that I did not know how dangerous the guy may be and I was risking a lot. He said something like, “Dad, how many times have I told you not to make yourself a soft target?” ( For those who do not understand NRA or cop talk, email me to learn what a soft target is.) I thanked him for his input and drove back to invite the man into my domicile. He reluctantly accepted my invitation. I presume he wondered if he was making himself a soft target.
We went to my house where I fed him. He took a shower and washed a load of clothes. Later, he went with me to pick up Linda and Meagan at the theatre. We spent the evening talking and watching TV. It was a pleasant experience and made me feel good about helping out someone who had so little compared to me.
Anyway, I am not so lonely and bored that I’m ready and willing to take in strangers, but thus far, the empty nest is not so great. I wonder what my grandkids are doing this weekend.
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