My Ramblings

I’ve had two pleasantly surprising experiences this past couple of weeks, both involving letters I wrote. Both were written to men, one of whom I used to work with and know very well, the other to a man I  was acquainted with in high school.  He is a year or so older than me so I do not know him very well. I have known the the first guy, who I will call Brad, for more than twenty years. We both worked in Juvenile Hall at the time and were only slightly acquainted for the first several years. Before I go further, I need to take a rabbit trail. Brad was a Supervisor and I was a Probation Officer who took as many overtime shifts as I could get. During a phase of building a new wing to Juvenile Hall, a worker on a backhoe broke a water line to the gymnasium. This rendered the fire sprinkler system inoperable, so someone had to be in the gym to call the Fire Department should the empty structure spontaneously burst into flame. I was called several times to cover the 11 p....

I took a look at Daniel’s Facebook today. It’s still active and people sometimes write on it. The below comments are a few I wanted to post here today. The first one is by one of Daniel’s buddies regarding his service to our country. The others are by his sisters.  August 27, 2013 - William Barrera: Man you were one fired up dude. The energy and the drive was there, plus you understood others very well, a trait I admired greatly next to the character you possessed that you would compromise for nothing and being solid in your own virtues. Keep watching my six from that overwatch you're on right now. Rest in power brother.  Gun Range - Bahrain, circa. 2004 August 21, 2013 Holly: Hi brother. We found out today I'm having a boy! Wish you were here to celebrate with us and meet him. I love you! August 3, 2013 Heather: Hey Butt head. Another birthday for me. The big 2-8. It's weird to think that today I reach the age you never got past. Especially with...

We have a framed photo of Daniel that has a large white mat around the picture. One of the girls had put it together to take to his memorial service so that folks could sign it in his memory. I have never paid much attention to it before today. I don't know why. Maybe it was a subconscious decision to protect my heart from more hurt, or maybe I just wasn't interested in reading the comments, or maybe I wasn't yet ready to see what people had to say. Anyway, today it caught my eye as it sat there on the floor leaning against his gun safe. I picked it up, sat down on a chair, rested it on my knees and read what people wrote on June 30, 2012.   I alternated between looking at my son's have face and reading those comments. Needless to say, I began to cry a little as I read and looked at my boy, remembering his short life, his humor, his seriousness, his desire to be a protector of the weak, and the hole in my life that his passing has left in it.  The ...

Eleven months ago I ended up in the ER at Kaiser due to severe dehydration and complications with Congestive Heart Failure (CHF). I spent five days there. Two days later, I went back and it was discovered my heart had gone into atrial fibrillation.  Last Saturday, my doctor instructed me to again go to the ER because I was short of breath, easily fatigued and had been gaining weight rapidly. They saw more problems with the CHF and gave be strong doses of intravenous medication to make me purge all that fluid. I stayed three nights and came home Tuesday. I have lost 40 pounds in seven days. I can breathe better, my blood pressure is down and I have more energy now.  I am hopeful that this episode and the weight loss will motivate me to exercise more and continue to lose weight. I would appreciate your prayers for strength and self discipline. Although I am only 56 years old, I feel much older. I’m not afraid to die, but I am petrified at the thought of being a 450 pou...

I thought I'd post our family Christmas newsletter from almost 11 years ago. I found it today as I searched my document files.  December 14, 2002 Greetings from the Faddis Family! - Stan, Linda, Daniel, Heather, Holly and Meagan. It has probably been a long time since you heard from us (in writing, anyway). Linda assigned me (Stan) the task of composing this letter so here it goes…Things are pretty active around here now that the kids are growing up and trying their wings. We have four drivers in the family and it seems like all four of our cars are hardly ever in the driveway.  Daniel (18) graduated from high school last June. He went to Hawaii for his Senior trip and had a good time. He brought home a little surprise in the form of a… tattoo. It is two Japanese symbols that supposedly mean “honor” and “courage” but Stan did some research and found it really means… “bone” and “head”. Daniel also did something else which Stan believes is much like his decision to...

I haven't posted anything in awhile. I am currently working on another writing project and haven;t taken time to write something fresh here. However, I found in my computer files a letter I wrote to Daniel two days after he left for boot camp in Great Lakes, Illinois. There's nothing special about it. Just words from a father to a son who he already misses dearly. I may post more of these letters later but I'm not certain.  September 13, 2003 Dear Daniel, I decided to write you, even though I do not yet have your address. I hope we get it soon! Today is Saturday. There is nothing special to report. The phone call from you last Thursday was short and not what I wanted. I wanted to chat awhile; hear how your flight was; if you like your roomies; if you got the top, middle or lower bunk, etc. You know the stuff Dads want to hear. I am sure that is how it was for all of you though.  I hope all is good and that you are doing well. I hope you are pumped up and...

Last week, some of our family went to the Stanislaus County Fair here in our town of Turlock. We parked in a huge lot behind the fairground. It is now covered primarily with asphalt, but that’s not how it was back in 1969. Then, it was packed dirt, patches of grass and weeds.  I recalled this when my mind gave me back an unpleasant memory from that time. It was Easter, 1969 and our mom took us there for a big egg hunt. I was 12, too old to participate and not interested in hunting eggs anyway, but Mom did not give me the choice of staying home. My siblings, Jeff, age 10, Tina, age 8 and Kevin age 6, were excited about it so we all went.  What excited them was not so much the plastic eggs filled with candy, but the big prizes that could be won including toys, skates, board games, etc., which were donated by local businesses. These big prizes were described on slips of paper inside the plastic eggs and this was a huge event which attracted approximately 300 kids and the...